Get rid of a bad habit

Get rid of a bad habit

Yes we all know it. Everyone has it.

Problem is not the habit.

Do you know?

For eg: Did you know, Google most of your high achieving celebrities, most of them have a bad habit. Yes they are all addicted to something or other. SRK, yes he is a chain smoker. Did you know that? More importantly do you know how pissed off he is with the habit and sincerely says others to not get into that rut.

So how is SRK successful? Yes, maybe you will say rare case.

Okay agreed there are always many ways to look at things.

I say glass is half full.

You say its half empty.

For someone he says 50-50.

Yes, another example.

Someone steals a bun from a shop.

For one person it is stealing.

For the person who stole it, says he was hungry, needed for his brother, kid, daughter etc.

Off course, you can say it is wrong and it is typical lying or poor example.

It’s like most bad students say teacher is bad that is why he could not score marks.

You can brush it off as a bad example.

All I am saying is there are always zillions of way the same thing can be looked at.

It is just that are you open to look at things from every angle.

So coming to bad habits.

First know the nature of human mind.

In human there is only addition of thoughts and multiplication of thoughts.

That is either information gets inside your brain from the time your brain developed.

And the information is processed in various permutation and combination or say multiplied in all probabilities.

So there is nothing called as deleting in the human mind.

Nothing ever gets deleted or removed permanently from the human mind.

So to break any bad habit, you have to replace it with another habit.

Yes it is simple but you are not able to understand or get convinced.

For eg: You are addicted to smoking.

Suppose I give you a pill which gives you the same ditto effect of smoking but no side effects of lungs etc. then what will you do.

Get it.

The point is not smoking.

The pleasure you get from smoking if you get it from something else in a healthy way, easy way with the same ease and accessibility as smoking, everyone will quit smoking atleast drastically it will come down.

The point is the pleasure we get from smoking.

Same applies for every bad habit.

I can advice for alternatives but the nature of mind will start playing tricks.

It will judge the advice I give.

You will try to tweak.

You will say let me do it and if it does not work, get back to addiction.

So point is everyone in deep addiction wants to come out. Ask them given a choice...

I have said how addiction works.

Now you decide and come out of it.

This also some people will say crap advice.

See that is the nature of the mind.

So do not fight the mind.

Distract it.

That is all.

Keep your mind distracted from smoking.

For eg what if I can hide the habit of smoking from your brain.

It is already possible with hypnotism, not successful fully for all but you get it right.

The whole point is telling your brain to take instructions from you.

Do not complicate it.

Point is you want to get rid of your habit.

How will do you it?

You want to reach a place.

What are the options?

Either you will go or not go.

You will walk, crawl, take a bus,rick,cab, plane, cycle, take a lift.

Somehow you will goto the place.

Or you will not go.

That is all.

Same with bad habit.

You want to go out of the bad habit.

You do not want to go out of the bad habit.

Offcourse no assurance you will reach the place.

You can even meet with accident.

You might take time to reach.

Does everyone who left to reach a place, reach.

No guarantee, you leave your home, no surety you will reach home back.

So do not complicate.

Here goes one last advice.

Suppose you have bad habit.

Good.

Beat a habit with a habit.

Yes, develop a good habit.

Ensure the good habit overtakes your bad habit.

Yes give the same amount of time, try, try but develop any other habit.

Sooner or later the pleasure you get from the bad habit, you will get from the good habit.

You will soon outlast the bad habit. Find a good habit that gives you pleasure like the bad habit gives.

Eg as I said, the pill, remember. So instead of pill find a good habit. Pill was just a metaphor.

What if right now I give you a pill that will forever make you forget smoking till you die.

Get it.

Yes, just that develop a good habit that will engross you so much that you will come out of the bad habit.

Just be sure that even if accident happens or you faulter seriously, do not get hurt.

As I said you want to reach that place or not.

Maximum what will happen you will fall.

As if now what is happening with you?

You are falling slowly that is all.

So atleast fall trying to get up.

Replace your bad habit with a good habit.

You are smoker, then try something else also that you will get addicted, just ensure it is a good habit.

In case you get addicted to one more bad habit.

NO problem, is there any rule you should have only one bad habit.

Two bad habits. Good. Sorry for joke but on a serious note, now all the more reason to develop a good habit.

Keep trying it will happen.

Just remember you can’t fight the habit or keep it on hold and stop yourself.

Do not do it. Get it, it will only get stronger.

Replace the bad habit with a good habit.

For example if I throw you on an island till you die.

Yes food, shelter everything will be dropped.

But there is no iota chance of smoking, tobacco, drugs or anything else at all.

What will you do?

Get it.

As I said replace your bad habit, keep trying.

In short what if in the whole world all the tobacco, smoking, drugs, alcohol, related substance become extinct.

Then what will you do.

Yes, all the alternatives like your whitener, everything is made extinct.

No substance to abuse, see you get it.

That is why I said I do not want to give advice.

I am saying there is a possibility to beat the habit.

Say for eg what if you are surrounded by 5 friends for the next one year.

From wakeup to sleep to shitting, everywhere.

They will not at all allow you to smoke.

You are always surrounded this gang for next one year.

See get it.

So think for yourself,

Start and do not stop till you reach your destination.

Ignore the language, grammar, punctuation.

Hope you got the message.

Me too going through a life threatening bad time. Here's my take. Problems and pain are temporary !Don’t give up

Here's my take. Me too going through a life threatening bad time.

Hope this helps folks as well. You can call it the Spiritual Way to TRANSCEND your problems, in fact take control of the very process of life and death. Read On....

So what is this all life, Troubles, Obstacles, God, Hell, Sin etc all about?

The whole creation has no START or END. Let's First understand concept..

This is nature of entire Cosmos or Existence. No END or START..

This is an process, everything in cosmos (planets, animals, stars, creatures, time itself) never ends or starts. But in this bigger cycle, once you get a chance to become a human by birth, it’s the human becoming the Divine is the final step, It is the PEAK, and not everyone on earth will resonate with it.

When one dies, you are no more but the SPIRIT which was in your body is Out. You maintain your astral body.

The laws of karma or say your actions will dictate when you return to earth, and what your experiences will be & what you will be born as become a rock, star, grass, mud, or just become empty space.

Poor actions in past life will be born as animal or lower life...no God conscious...but God's essence is there in that animal as well.


*When you have transformed the body into light or leave your body at will, or attain mahasamadhi, you are free to choose and go anywhere.*

You will be able to choose if and when to return, and what you will experience….you are free. You are no longer subjected to the wheel of birth and death, unless you choose to have this experience again.

This is what God is. This is least hurting way of playing life again and again. Coz you know what you are playing.

So it's good to be confident as well. But Clarity is the key. It's like now that you know the whole game, just play on...off course it will hurt as you have the emotions but remember including you, everything in cosmos keeps happening again and again...

Beat the cycle of life and death and choose what you want your experience to be...being human is the best shot you got...Nobody can stop you from this...not even Odds or God himself

Why does it feel impossible to accept myself or to be satisfied?

See, you have to understand one thing. First of all this answer might satisfy you or not.

I don’t know what kind of answer you are seeking for example there are many ways to seek satisfaction.

One could be do good, be good and in turn feel satisfied by feeling good.

Other is which majority of us follow - Be good if the other person is good and be bad if the other person is bad, in turn feel satisfied that you did the right thing but again sometimes forgiving is a right thing but will you forgive if someone hurt you consciously and just stamped you so that they could win.

Then there are people who will do anything to feel satisfised by getting what they want - they might amass wealth, cheat, lie, not share information, secretly do their stuff, coax people into their schemes to achieve their satisfaction.

So basically, the satisfaction is just the surface. You have to go deeper, satisfaction will never be there.

The point is the nature of human life, mind, spirit, consciousness, soul, intelligence is always seeking. Seeking higher things. Even after being the most enlightened being, rich person, good person, you can fail right.

Then what you do???

Where dissatisfaction comes is we do things out of pressure, out of success, yes even out of greed for success or just to feel better. Your dissatisfaction will start.

Plus being satisfied is not a posistion you reach and you always be satisfied. You have to always be alert and on your toes, reminding yourself that satisfaction is just an illusion.

Keep moving most importantly stand up again when you fall down after a finding dissatisfaction. Dissatisfaction will hit anytime, just before the second you die as well. So be prepared. Hope you got the big picture.

SATISFACTION - CONTENTMENT, IS A STATE OF MIND YOU HAVE TO BE ALWAYS BE. EVEN AFTER YOU FALL DOWN EVERY TIME OUT OF BEING SATISFIED.

Today I lost my self-control for the second time in my two years of college. It scared the hell out of me this time and I don't want to see myself like that ever again. What are the ways to keep it in check?

Example:

See, it’s like, let it be however a big problem, if you know that if you press this button, it will solve the problem, what will you do?

In some cases you don’t know which button to press.
So you press the buttons for what you can?

Another Example: Say a person is addicted to drugs. Ask any drug addict, if i give a pill that will make him forget the addiction going forward, will he take it or NO.

TRUST ME, invariably sooner or later every drug addict will want that pill.
In this case, you just don’t know what to do.
But if you really dead sure like you can handle, solve or know what to do, then you would have done.

So do what you can with FULL CONVICTION and the whatever is the best you feel. Yes, whatever, you do must be option the best option.

Don’t worry if it turns out to be wrong or din’t come out as you expected.
That is not in your hand.

If your still not sure, consult a counsellor near your place. Then take a call on what needs to be done- best.

Or consult someone whom you will place a bet on your life, a well wisher, who is good at advice and will stand by you if you ask for help.

Self Control is not a stage we reach & stop.

It is evolution, you keep improving.

Say you had self control on anger for 10 issues, tomorrow you should have self control for 100 issues.

How can I cover up my study gap and ensure a bright future?

This is the problem we identify with the situation instead of knowing the source of problem.

Alibaba founder Jack Ma is one of the richest people in the world, with a net worth of over $36 billion according to Forbes. But there was a time when he couldn't even get a job at Kentucky Fried Chicken.

Here's the full article

The early rejection taught him an important business lesson: "You have to get used to failure," he says, speaking at the University of Nairobi.

After college, Ma applied for 30 jobs in his home city of Hangzhou, China. He was rejected from every one.

At KFC, 24 people applied for the job, says Ma, and while 23 were hired — he wasn't one of them.

The same thing happened when he tried to be a cop. This time four of five applicants were hired, all except Ma.

Another time Ma lost out on a job to his own blood.

"My cousin and I waited for two hours [in a] long queue to be the waiter for the four star hotel in my city, on a very hot day," he says. "My cousin's score was much lower than mine, [but] he was accepted and I was rejected!"

A post shared by University of Nairobi (@universityofnairobi) on Jul 21, 2017,

Ma was even turned down by Harvard 10 times, he tells Charlie Rose in 2015.

"I told myself someday I should go teach there maybe," he laughs.

Although he can joke about it now, Ma says the continued rejection was painful. But it prepared him for his entrepreneurial future.

"If you can not get used to failure — just like a boxer — if you can't get used to [being] hit, how can you win?" he says to the audience in Nairobi.

The fortitude came in handy when he founded Chinese e-commerce site Alibaba in 1999. In the beginning, Ma heard "no" a lot.

"I remember year 2001, we went to raise some $5 million from venture capitalists in the USA and got rejected," Ma tells Rose. Despite the setback, he didn't stop. "I said we [will] come back raising a little bit more."

Perhaps those VCs regret their decisions. Today, the company has a market cap of about $400 billion. When it went public 2014, it was the largest initial public offering ever.

Ma says he now passes around case studies about failure to colleagues at Alibaba, instead of reinforcing success.

"When you read too many successful stories, people go crazy," he says during his talk in Nairobi. "They think 'I can be successful.'"
But the truth is, says Ma, "When you share a lot of failure stories, you learn."
So till the age of 30 he was nothing but a failure.
So, at the age of 31, Ma started his first internet company called “China Yellow Pages.” The company made around $800,000 in the three years it was in business.

And now the rest is history.
So the problem is not about the success or failure or filling the gap.
If you worry about gap, what will you do if there an other gap.

It is about the journey.
See say for example, you want to be a body builder, what gives you more happiness. Off course, the day you won.
But what about everyday when you wake up to prepare, excercise, eat and work out.

See this is what we are supposed to be in. In the journey, the zone where we are always looking out for something.
Then you will not have time to feel sorrow.
See for example, suddenly imagine you and your best buddies plan to go for 1 month trip. Got that feel.

I know life will be normal after the trip.
But what about the time during the trip.
So coming to your question, you are not enjoying your current journey, so choose a journey what you want.

It's hard to believe because its simple.
But yes, in case you need to make a drastic changem, then do it.
don't worry about failure or consequences.

If it was not Jack Ma, someone else would have been there, done that.
So if its not you, someone else would be there and take that.
So only thing what you can do give your self maximum chances to be there done that.

FAILURE is not a big deal. I mean you are saying like this. what if suddenly after you read this answer, the entire world is nuked. Got it.
Don’t think about the gap. Not being negative but just saying the big picture. Get it.

If you are in this kind of a journey then you will know when to take a gap and gap will not dictate your life. In fact, nothing will bother, neither failure nor success.

You will beyond success & failure.

What are some tips to help me decide my career?

Hope this helps.

Career is just part of life. So first know what you really want in life like money, fame, stability or do social service. So first decide your life goal.

Read below and do the exercise given in the question for 90 days or till you get sure about your choice of career or aim etc.

What should I do with my life when I can’t see a clear goal?

FIRST FIND YOUR LIFE GOAL.

Since you have asked the question, i hope you will listen to the answer and not think this is the answer you were not expecting.

Hope you have time, i would say choose your time. But in case you want time, choose around 90 days.

Go to a career counsellor at his college or even to an outside career counselling centers which are in plenty nowadays.

How to choose your career?

Take an aptitude test, known your strengths and weakness.

Now do the planning:

Why is career planning important?

And most importantly find what your INTEREST lies in.

Also remember every person will have to two-three interests. So always develop two three skills. Even if takes 10 years be on it.

Sooner or later your time will come.

it’s okay if you want to be a sports person but that is no excuse for you to develop a skill in say computers.

What could I do to change 9-5 job situation in my life, which I don't like most and want do something different but my background doesn't allow me to do?

Firstly, get the picture.

You are part of a bigger picture.

There are many people like you, there plenty of people
like you in your city and in the nation.

On this earth, we are one among the countless people.

In the universe, the earth is just one planet.

Like this the larger picture is that we are all part of a bigger picture.

Now everyone of us wants to have a slice of this bigger life.

We all are searching for something or other.

And you are searching for a good life or career which you feel WILL keep you happy.

In fact, a drug addict too has the same feeling he feels that drug will make him.

Unfortunately, drugs happen to be a thing that affects our body and in the world it is considered as bad.

Imagine, like making money, doing good if drugs was also considered right in the world.

Then along with being good, earning money, doing drugs would also be ambitions of most people.

So the first thing i am trying to say is no matter what you do, you might be the best at what you are, but there will always be things, people who are better than you.

So this feeling of you looking for something will never end.

Now the question is how do you end this?

It’s very simple but as always simple things are hard to understand.

Animals are happy if it gets what it wants.

Humans that’s where it starts, even if you are the best in the world, you are somewhat having that feeling that i need to do this, do that etc.

So choice is yours, you continue doing what you do but realize that we are just a small spec in this entire universe.

It’s like Sun, Moon Stars, they are all bigger, powerful than you.

But man isn’t it boring to sit there everyday and just rise and shine.

I feel pity for the sun, stars, moon.

So that way, as human you are better.

Or you can go ahead full throttle ready to take all the risks, be there done that and change the world. But remember even after this you will get the same feel.

Or you can just say, okay i realize the truth, i will take it as nature or destiny or my surroundings bring it to me.

So its upto you. simple, yet effective.

Yes, if there is magic to life. Yes there is .

If there is no magic, yes there is no.

So choice is yours.

Don’t take life so seriously.

You lose or fail, it doesn’t really make a difference.

I mean what happens, if the entire world is just nuked after reading this answer.

So, don’t think the situation you are in is the Ultimate and everything else revolves around it. Always be a spectator, be like a movie goer who is watching the movie of his own life.

Question is how do want the movie to be?

Nobody knows the formula to make a hit movie or be successful in life and keeping in mind that okay, i will do this but i am okay if i again feel i need something more.

It’s like we bathe everyday, knowing very well we will bathe again either tomorrow or day after tomorrow or ….choice is yours.. but you will bathe again. the stink won’t go away, Realize this, be happy and do what you can do with full involvement.

One thing you can ensure is to make movie interesting. Hope you got the answer. So do you want make your life interesting, irrespective of the results. Be it a hit or a flop.

What should I do with my life when I can't see a clear goal?

Since you have asked the question, i hope you will listen to the answer and not think this is the answer you were not expecting.

Every answer is told in a certain context, so if some people are not able to find this answer helpful, its understandable.

So dont stop till you find the answer. This is the best way to find your goal in life.

There is no method to find your goal in life.

Keep on it till you reach. Sometimes goal changes or fail, so go on till you find.

The problem is not finding the goal. It is your indecisiveness or fear of failure.

Only problem in finding a goal is you have choices or you dont know to do.

First thing is you can go wrong after deciding and pursuing and even flop. Its ok. But if you tried fully you will not get that feeling of having failed. Right, think about it.

So goal is not important, it is about are you ready to do anything for that goal.

So choose a goal that your ready to do anything for it.

Now other part how to know your goal if your not able to find it.

Hope you have time, i would say choose your time. But in case you want time, choose around 90 days.

Just hold your breathe for how long you can and think what is your goal.

Now to know if its the goal, remember you can be flop, fail but as i said is it not goal that matters but are you ready to do ANYTHING FOR THAT GOAL.

Only thing you can do is to check if the goal has higher chances of success for you.

Once you get a goal, now again hold your breathe and ask is this what you want to do.

Sooner or later, you will get the answer. To confirm it do this for 90 days.

Choose the goal whichever you got in your mind for 90 days. Yes, choose the goal which you got most of the times as the thought in your mind.

Hardly takes few mins a day, just do once a day. Plus its very easy, i mean how long can you hold your breathe, maximum…

If you get two goals, start again, hold your breathe, choose one.

But do it for LONGEST PERIOD OF TIME, 90 days. You can do it for more days also to get only one answer. Sooner or later, moment you close and hold your breathe, you will get only that one goal. (If you have time) TO CONFIRM YOUR GOAL.

Dont forget, its not about goal, are you ready to lose, yes then choose that goal.