Why does it feel impossible to accept myself or to be satisfied?

See, you have to understand one thing. First of all this answer might satisfy you or not.

I don’t know what kind of answer you are seeking for example there are many ways to seek satisfaction.

One could be do good, be good and in turn feel satisfied by feeling good.

Other is which majority of us follow - Be good if the other person is good and be bad if the other person is bad, in turn feel satisfied that you did the right thing but again sometimes forgiving is a right thing but will you forgive if someone hurt you consciously and just stamped you so that they could win.

Then there are people who will do anything to feel satisfised by getting what they want - they might amass wealth, cheat, lie, not share information, secretly do their stuff, coax people into their schemes to achieve their satisfaction.

So basically, the satisfaction is just the surface. You have to go deeper, satisfaction will never be there.

The point is the nature of human life, mind, spirit, consciousness, soul, intelligence is always seeking. Seeking higher things. Even after being the most enlightened being, rich person, good person, you can fail right.

Then what you do???

Where dissatisfaction comes is we do things out of pressure, out of success, yes even out of greed for success or just to feel better. Your dissatisfaction will start.

Plus being satisfied is not a posistion you reach and you always be satisfied. You have to always be alert and on your toes, reminding yourself that satisfaction is just an illusion.

Keep moving most importantly stand up again when you fall down after a finding dissatisfaction. Dissatisfaction will hit anytime, just before the second you die as well. So be prepared. Hope you got the big picture.

SATISFACTION - CONTENTMENT, IS A STATE OF MIND YOU HAVE TO BE ALWAYS BE. EVEN AFTER YOU FALL DOWN EVERY TIME OUT OF BEING SATISFIED.